Well said Rick, was literally going to say the same thing.
I get where you are coming from James, especially as an agile coach who has helped many people make the transition from a more traditional management roles to a more flat-“leader” situation.
As a leader you’ve got to be deliberate about the examples you set, working 14 hour days, etc is simply setting a different example and one which you so rightly pointed out was not the one you had hoped for.
Leading by example like anything it is simply a tool, a tool you can choose to use in a positive way or a negative one.
Sounds like you got a great lesson on leadership through this experience!